Baile Funk

A couple of weeks ago, I went to a party in a favela. This type of party was called Baile Funk. Baile Funk literally translates as Funk Dance. I wonder if you remember the scene in City of God where lil' Ze shoots his friend in the club, well if you do, you know what the place looks like, the scene was filmed there. Baile Funk has become an institution out here in Brazil, especially in Rio. Basically, it is place where all the young and frustrated youth from the favelas go to vent there tension and look for some action of the sexual variety. The music is not dissimilar in its sound to London grime, with its basic beats and loud, raw MCing over the top. The lyrics are equally unimaginative, and pretty much just talk about sex constantly, in an effort to set the mood, oh, not to forget the occasional mention of guns, gangs and drugs. Although it has a gritty and exciting edge to it. Pure gully.

I went with a hostel tour, which was not as bad as I had imagined it would be. There were 60 odd people on the tour. We all paid R$50 for the round trip. This included a 'VIP' pass, travel and entry.

The favela hosting the Baile Funk is run different kind of command know as 'The Militia' allegedly these guys are a faction formed of off duty, bent cops or military police. There are no drugs or drug dealing permitted in this favela. The faction is heavily armed through their state and military connections and they govern their territory with an iron fist i.e if you are caught dealing or even taking drugs, you risk being executed on the spot; and they certainly wouldn't be arrested for the murder. I have heard they have plans to eventually invade every favela in Zona Sul, including Rosinha.

The bounders in the club were the hugest I'd ever seem. Pumped up on so many steroids, it is a wonder that they are in control at all. To back them up are the security, kept out of general sight but armed with AK-47s, just in case. Basically you do not fuck with these people.

There were dancing competitions going on on stage; girls each trying to shake their asses better than the next, the dirtier and more revealing the louder the cheers.

The VIP area was designed purely for tourists who want to get out of the action or socialise with other gringos, as it does get feisty down there. The guys generally behave like uncaged wild animals and the cave-man attitude appeared to be welcomed by the girls. There are choreographed dances to go with the music but to me, the guys performing them looked really gay; although, to be fair to them, the girls seemed to love it.

I bumped into a girl called Billy, who I knew from a hostel I'd stayed in when I first arrived back from the North. Billy (real name Courtney - apparently a strippers name) from Canada, moved here when she was 17 and speaks fluent Portuguese. When I first met her last month, I thought she was a jumped up bitch who loved herself - she seemed to love letting everyone know she could speak Portuguese. Actually, my opinion hasn't changed too much, although, I have warmed to her a great deal. I suppose like most arrogant people, she is an acquired taste. She is about 5'5", tanned with striking green eyes with lots of peircings in her belly, and she can wind her body like a pro. After exploring the club for a while and checking out the show. I returned to the dance floor for a boogy, with my Aussie mate Zak. Zak is 20, white and has dreads. He is a crazy party boy from Sydney, who loves getting on it; I suppose like I was when I was his age; come to think of it, like I am 6 years on now! There were so many gorgeous ghetto sluts everywhere. Some moved with such amazing rhythm that you just couldn't help staring and they certainly didn't mind the admiration. I bumped into Billy again and we had a bit of bump 'n' grind, then a wild, ferocious kiss. After about 30 minutes of dancing we left to find a van home. Vans are like unofficial buses that ferry people to and from every corner of the city. When we eventually got to mine, we stripped, and jumped straight in pool. It was like something out of a Hollywood film. I have a balcony next to the pool, which overlooks the city and what a view it was that night. I won't go into anymore detail.